Ask me anything.

Well it's just I'm an 18 year old girl, about to go to uni, and I'm a virgin. I'm excited for this step, mainly academically but also for new relationships. THe only thing is I'm scared to lose my virginity bc everything seems to point towards sex being just a chore or a pain for women. I'm sorry this is so tmi, I'm just a bit nervous
asks Anonymous

nextyearsgirl:

Based on the context, by “sex” I assume you mean heterosexual intercourse, and you need to know, unequivocally, that it is not suppose to hurt, it is not supposed to be uncomfortable or painful, it’s not natural for you to not enjoy it, it’s not expected for you to bleed or cry or anything like that. Though it’s very rare for a woman to be able to orgasm from it alone, PIV can be quite pleasurable if you are receptive to it, meaning if your partner takes the time to engage in enough foreplay that you are relaxed and excited. Barring physiological conditions that do, for some women, make PIV painful, if your partner is willing to take the time to make you feel good and be ready for intercourse (which he should be, otherwise he doesn’t deserve to be your partner) then your “first time” can and should be absolutely painless.

That said, the only reason PIV is often considered a “chore” or a “pain” for women is because society expects women to tolerate engaging in it even when they are not receptive to it, which means it is often painful and uncomfortable, which makes women think it’s always painful and uncomfortable, which reinforces the idea that pain and discomfort are natural, etc. etc. Sex is not doing your laundry or going to the bank. You are not required to engage in it for any reason, especially not simply because your partner wants you to, and especially not if he is not willing to take the time to make sure the experience is equally enjoyable for both of you. Sex, even casual sex, is supposed to, on some level, be about intimacy and pleasure for both partners, not just the man getting off. If he is only interested in pounding away at something until he comes, the internet sells plenty of disgusting replica vulvae he can check out; you are not a masturbatory aid, you are a person who deserves equal pleasure if and when you choose to engage in intercourse. And remember, PIV is not the end-all, be-all of sex either. Penetration is one sex act in an entire world of ways to feel good, enjoy yourself, and get off. Chances are it’s also the one thing that won’t get you off, especially if it’s treated as the main event and not just one small part of the experience. Be patient, tell yourself early and often that you are not obligated to make sure the evening ends in PIV, and resolve to say no when you don’t want to do something and to tell your partner what you do want. Chances are at that age he doesn’t have a lot of experience either (and unfortunately has probably been groomed on porn), and a little guidance wouldn’t go amiss if he is eager but not skilled.

But seriously, kick his ass to the curb if he doesn’t respect your no, respect your wait, makes you feel uncomfortable, or only thinks about himself. Dick is abundant and low value.

Would like this more if it emphasized heteronormativity beyond the first bit and the fact that girls exist as potential partners 2

September 22, 2014 · via lesradicalfeminisms  

fashionsprose:

Details at Michael Kors RTW S/S 2015
4 hours ago · via 00pulence  

mazzystardust:

Kaki & Co | Franzi Mueller & Leila Nda by Camille Armbrust
4 hours ago · via mazzystardust

Don’t fuck with boys who:

thedangerousautumn:

* are mean to their mothers
* are against feminism
* only want you for your body
* will/are leading you on
* think you owe them something
* think they are entitled to your body

that last bullet point pretty well wipes out boys in general so

4 hours ago · via imgross-ok  

kiss-me-on-myneck:

yasboogie:


White Syracuse school guard’s ‘joke’ gets black student to assume the position, mom says
Twelve-year-old Brandon Pearson, who has Down syndrome, was excited to start the school year Tuesday, his first day at a new school.
But he and his family were welcomed to the building with a racist joke from a Syracuse school employee, his mother said.
The incident led school officials to suspend the employee while they investigate her complaint.
Brandon was accompanied on his first day at Huntington K-8 School in Eastwood by his mother, Brandiss Pearson, her husband and her father.
When they stopped in front of a hallway mural to snap pictures, a school sentry, or security guard, who is white, inserted himself. Brandon and his family are black.
"Wait, wait, wait, hold on,” Brandiss Pearson recalls the sentry saying. Then the sentry turned Brandon to face the wall and lifted Brandon’s hands above his head on the wall, as if to be frisked, she said.
"And he starts laughing and says, ‘Now take the picture, he’s in the right position,’ ” Pearson recalled.
The insinuation went over Brandon’s head. He kept smiling. But his family members were stunned, Pearson said. They hurried Brandon off to his classroom to meet his teacher and say their goodbyes. Only after she got home did Pearson stop to process what had happened.
"I was shaking, just like fire-breathing mad,” she said. ”All he saw was a little black boy who needed to assume the position.”
Pearson is a registered nurse at St. Joseph’s Hospital Heath Center. She is studying for a master’s degree at Upstate University. She’s on the board of directors for Home HeadQuarters.
"Nothing that I’ve accomplished can change what some people see,” she said.
Pearson’s father snapped a picture of Brandon in the offensive position, but later deleted it from his phone because it made him angry. “He said he did not want to relive that moment one more second,” Pearson said.
Pearson reported the incident to Huntington’s principal Tuesday afternoon. She tearfully confronted the security guard, or school sentry, Wednesday when she saw him in the hallway. He responded that he thought it was “a funny joke,” she said.
School administrators put the sentry on leave Wednesday while they look into the incident, said Michael Henesey, coordinator of communications for the school district. Henesey declined to identify the sentry. Pearson said she did not know the sentry’s full name.
"We are in receipt of the complaint filed against one of our school sentries,” Henesey said in a prepared statement. "The school district has begun an internal investigation into the alleged complaint. The school sentry in question has been placed on administrative leave while the district conducts the investigation. We will not be releasing any more information at this time." [h/t]

Update: Syracuse district fires white school guard for ‘joke’ having black child assume the position

wow
4 hours ago · via paulithper  

meloromantics:

oddpicturesoddpeople:

sinidentidades:

The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology has dealt a devastating blow to the notion that men and women are fundamentally different when it comes to how they think and act.

“Although gender differences on average are not under dispute, the idea of consistently and inflexibly gender-typed individuals is,” Bobbi J. Carothers of Washington University in St. Louis and Harry T. Reis of the University of Rochester explained in their study. “That is, there are not two distinct genders, but instead there are linear gradations of variables associated with sex, such as masculinity or intimacy, all of which are continuous.”

Analyzing 122 different characteristics from 13,301 individuals in 13 studies, the researchers concluded that differences between men and women were best seen as dimensional rather than categorical. In other words, the differences between men and women should be viewed as a matter of degree rather than a sign of consistent differences between two distinct groups.

You mean human beings, like everything else, living and mineral, in nature exist on a series of both parallel and intersecting spectrums, and there is no such thing as a definitive binary or black/white divide?

MRAs, RadFems, and EvoPsych people everyone will be horrified to find this out.

radfems would not be horrified because this is what we’ve been telling people for forever

radical feminism seeks to abolish gender, as in the set of social conditions and structures that position female children as less than and raise them to be submissive and ornamental

abolishing this social construct means acknowledging that there is no fundamental difference between men and women psychologically [and very few noticeable physical differences: sex characteristics are obvious, but without the structure of gender telling women that they shouldn’t become muscular because men would no longer find them attractive, or that men who don’t have muscle tone in certain places are weak] and that differences that arise are a result of upbringing and social conditioning. 

this is, quite basically, what being gender-critical means. this news is scientific support of radical feminist theory, and the fact that someone thinks radical feminists would be “horrified” at this news means that liberal feminists’ straw-feminist smear campaign and silencing tactics against radicalism have been very successful.

4 hours ago · via meloromantics  

5oak:

khazi-x:

nextyearsgirl:

And like, it’s so easy to stop watching porn? Unless you are actually addicted to it you can stop at any time. I know, I did it! Just stop watching it. Stop watching it. Literally just stop. If you find yourself clicking over to one of those sites walk away from your computer. Get a snack. Pet a dog. Literally stop.

but porn is fun. and the people in the video are consenting, so why is this an issue?

For a lot of reasons

4 hours ago · via 5oak  

4 hours ago · via sewer-mermaid  

shotguntactic:

color-me-damned:

shotguntactic:

color-me-damned:

SO want to be enthusiastic about the speech but have a problem with it being completely watered down and (surprise) male-catering

"we need to welcome men"

um. I think we might have tried this tactic before…once….like, throughout all of history

"gender roles hurt men too"

ok but being called…

ok but being called a pussy for crying openly is maybe not the same as being raped/killed for going out at night?”

Is men being beaten up in the street enough to atleast justify some attention to gender roles then?

who’s beating them up? like what are you talking about? you tag your post “yesallwomen”—do you think women are beating men up in the streets?

and this is actually an example of me giving gender roles attention. did you bother to read this or…?

Men have a higher chance of being a victim of violence than women, like women (outside of jail, atleast) have a higher chance of being victims of rape.

The yes all women is there simply to make sure feminists read the criticism against their movement.

And no, saying “men suffer from sexism too but women have it infinitrly worse, end of discussion” is not acknowledging sexism against men, its pulling it under the rug!

I’m certainly not saying we need to brush these issues under the rug—simply that when we talk about how males are victims of violence, we need to finish that by saying it is at the hands of other men

The tag is understandable in this case—thank you for clarifying, though again, I’m not sure what all women do that you’re reminding us about.

That certainly isn’t what I was saying—merely that a talk about FEMINISM need not go out of its way to cater to male perspectives, as historically that’s already been used as a tactic, to little success.

4 hours ago · via shotguntactic  

freereceiptwithpurchase:

vejas ss15 fittings
styling marcus cuffie
makeup bailey stiles
5 hours ago · via bathblogger  

shotguntactic:

color-me-damned:

SO want to be enthusiastic about the speech but have a problem with it being completely watered down and (surprise) male-catering

"we need to welcome men"

um. I think we might have tried this tactic before…once….like, throughout all of history

"gender roles hurt men too"

ok but being called…

ok but being called a pussy for crying openly is maybe not the same as being raped/killed for going out at night?”

Is men being beaten up in the street enough to atleast justify some attention to gender roles then?

who’s beating them up? like what are you talking about? you tag your post “yesallwomen”—do you think women are beating men up in the streets?

and this is actually an example of me giving gender roles attention. did you bother to read this or…?

5 hours ago · via shotguntactic  

tbh I have no problem with straight ppl as long as they don’t act straight in public

6 hours ago

amor-est:

wise words from Julian pt 2
8 hours ago · via amor-est

8 hours ago · via anti-biotico  

somethingvain:

prada s/s 2013, for interview germany february 2013
8 hours ago · via plizm